We have received many questions about writing Thank You Notes over the years, so I’ll use today’s post to answer a few of them.
Q: Who writes the thank you note?
A: Traditionally, the bride writes the note and signs it. The body of the message may include the fiance/husband:
Dear Bob and Jeanne,
Thank you for the lovely crystal vase. Grant and I already have it on display in our foyer, full of lovely Summer flowers. It is the perfect addition to our home. We would also like to thank you for traveling so far to be with us on our wedding day. You have been very special to us for many years, and it meant a lot to us to have you attend.
Sincerely,
Heather Mitchell
It is becoming more socially acceptable to write the note as a couple. The front of the informal note would have both of your names, i.e. “Grant and Heather Mitchell” or “Mr. and Mrs. Grant Mitchell”. The note itself can be written as stated above, or like this:
Dear Bob and Jeanne,
Thank you for the lovely crystal vase. We already have it on display in our foyer, full of lovely Summer flowers. It is the perfect addition to our home. We would also like to thank you for traveling so far to be with us on our wedding day. You have been very special to us for many years, and it meant a lot to us to have you attend.
Sincerely,
Heather and Grant Mitchell
Q: What is the difference between a thank you note and an informal note?
A: A Thank You Note is not pre-printed with your name and is typically printed with the words “Thank You”. These are used for small, informal weddings or showers. Ironically, an Informal Note is more formal than a standard Thank You Note. It is part of your wedding stationery and is pre-printed with your name(s). These are used for formal weddings and should not have a pre-printed message inside. Proper etiquette dictates that you write a personal note to each person who gave you a gift or helped you with your wedding.
Q: How do you write a thank you note for a monetary gift?
A: Do not mention the dollar amount received. Instead, express your gratitude for their generosity. Here is an example of how to word it:
Aunt Belle,
Thank you so much for your generous gift! Grant and I used it to purchase a chaise lounge for our back patio. It has become my favorite place to unwind and read after work each evening. We are so glad you were able to share our wedding day with us. Who knew you were such a fantastic dancer? Thanks again for your thoughtful gift and we hope to see you again very soon.
Sincerely,
Heather
Q: Do I send a thank you note to the Officiant of the wedding?
A: Yes, it is proper etiquette to send a thank you to the officiant. Here is an example:
Dear Reverend Phillips,
We would like to thank you for making our wedding day so special. The service and prayers were beautiful and heartfelt, and exactly what we hoped for. Thank you for your time and blessings as we begin our married life together.
Sincerely,
Heather and Grant Mitchell
Q: When do I send thank you notes?
A: As soon as possible after the gift is received. The proper timing is to send a personalized note within four weeks after receipt of the gift. Keep a list of gifts and the people who gave the gifts. Have a system in place where you notate when the gift was received and when the note was sent. This will help you keep track of which have been written and sent, because it’s easy to lose track when you are receiving lots of gifts for showers and the wedding. If you have a very large wedding and feel it will be impossible to send all your thank you notes out within four weeks, it is appropriate to send a gift acknowledgment card. These may say something like: “Paige and Charles Beck wish to acknowledge the receipt of your thoughtful wedding gift. A personal note of thanks will be sent at a later date.” Do not be tempted to send thank you notes with a few lines of thanks already printed, though. It does not convey your appreciation for their generosity in the same way as a hand written note. Somebody has taken the time and gone to the expense of selecting a gift for you, which should be properly acknowledged.
Don’t feel overwhelmed if you have many thank you notes to write. Take them one at a time and you’ll be done before you know it. Please feel free to post your thank you note questions here and we will answer them for you!
on Weddingbee.com did these cute little babies as a DIY favor project. Luggage tags make a great favor for destination weddings or just a fun DIY project for you creative people out there!
